Monday, January 30, 2012
We've all witnessed "the people of WalMart", but have you ever gone to the local rec center in anticipation of a kick ass workout and ended up leaving frustrated and annoyed...let's identify "the people of the Rec Center".
The Cardio Room:
The Weight Room:
The Locker Room:
- The Infants- Oh how I hate the kiddie pool! I especially hate when it's time for infant swim lessons! You couldn't pay me to stick a single toe in that pool after these kids have been in there. These babies manage to make the entire Natatorium smell like shit....and you know that diaper is not water proof!
- Mr. Lane Hogger - Yup, this is they guy who refuses to look at you when you have been standing at his lane for the past 15 minutes. He pretends to be engrossed in his workout, but you know he is just avoiding eye contact so he doesn't have to share a lane with you.
- Sir Splash Alot - This is the guy who takes his aggression out on the pool like it's nobody's business. I'm not sure how he doesn't have bruised arms after slapping the water like that.
- The Triathlete - You know you are dealing with a triathlete when they have their bag of pool toys with them and they hog the lane for a good hour or two. Yup, that's us folks! (I can't just pick on the non-triathletes, I'm sure people find us annoying too.)
- The High School Lovebirds - These two frequent the rec center to do their kanoodling in the hot tub. You can be sure I will not be in the hot tub after those two have been in there!
- The "Used to Be A Swimmer in HS" Mom - Another one of my favorites! This lady stands at the edge of the pool and "coaches" (aka yells at) her 5 year old daughter acting like she is God's gift to the world of swimming. Yet, I have never actually seen the lady get in the pool. That kid is going to have a complex when she grows up!
- The Teenage Boys - I hate these kids! They have way to much attitude and manage to hog an entire lane just to dick around and well...be typical teenage boys.
- Shamu - This lady actually intrigues me. She's about 200 pounds overweight, and God bless her for taking the initiative to do something about it, but she laps me in the pool like she's a hot knife through butter. I honestly cannot figure it out to save my life!
The Cardio Room:
- Sir Humps Alot-a Stair Master - Not sure what workout this guy is going for, but the goal is to continuously climb the stairs, not to climb one set at at time just to "ride" the machine on the way back down.
- The Kanoodlers - Ahhh yes, we all know and love those happy couples who come to the track every day to get that spice back in their life! These two hold hands as they not so briskly walk laps, but manage to get in your way when you are trying to do a real workout.
- The Shadow - Yup, you guessed it. This is the guy who jumps on the treadmill next to you and copies your every move. Amazing how he just happens to be doing the exact same speed workout at the exact same time as you.
- The Teenage Girls - Yes, these are the girls who move from machine to machine, and only spend about 5 minutes max on each machine, yet try to make it look like they are working out. Not to mention that they are texting on their cell phones the entire time they are on the machines.
- Mrs. Blue Tooth - One of my favorites! Can you really get a good workout if you are talking on the phone the entire time you are on the treadmill? And stop annoying me with your lame gossipy conversation that I don't care to overhear, but am forced to because I am actually trying to get a workout in and you just happen to be on the treadmill next to me having social hour.
- The Socializers - These are usually the older people at the rec who instead of going to McDonald's to have coffee with their friends on a Saturday morning, choose to go to the rec center instead. Although they don't really work out, they just meet up there, move from machine to machine, and talk to their friends along the way....similar to the teenage girls.
- The TV Watchers - I'm not sure these people actually come to the rec center to work out. I actually think they come to watch TV. These are the people who you never see working out...yet every 5-10 minutes you see them come back to the cardio area and just stand there staring at the TV's. Not sure how intriguing CNN can be without sound???
The Weight Room:
- Mr. Macho - This guy comes to the rec and stays in the weight room all day....that is after he has finished his hour long tanning session. Occasionally, you will see him lift a weight or two, but really he just walks around with his shoulders back, head cocked to the side, and his arms about a foot away from his side because his muscles are "too big" to walk with a normal arm movement and gait.
- The Kids - I wish parents would leave their kids at home or with the babysitter! Weight machines are not toys and your kid is wasting my time by treating it as a jungle gym!
- The HS Boys - Yes, they have moved from the pool to the weight room....and if you thought they were bad in the pool, they are even worse in the weight room. These kids think they are all that and have the attitude to go along with it.
- The Female Body Builder - This lady actually scares me! There is no reason any female should ever EVER look like that!
- The In and Out Guy - Not sure what this guy is doing, but he comes in the weight room, spends about 5 minutes between 20 different machines, and then leaves. I don't think one rep per machine is going to get you those results you are looking for!
The Locker Room:
- Mrs. "I'm too good to use the family locker room", so I'm going to bring my 5 year old son into the women's locker room and let him stare at you while you are buck ass neked.
- The Talker - This lady doesn't care if you are standing there naked or not, she is going to have a full on conversation with you about anything and everything you have no particular interest in.
- The Mr. Mom's - These guys stop you just before you enter the locker room to ask you to check on their 5 year old daughter or to see if their wife is still in the locker room. Sorry sir, your wife and child are not my problem. Get an ankle bracelet!
What are your "favorite" Rec Center pet peeves?