I just wanted to post my current status and to thank everyone for all their thoughts, prayers, and support over these past few weeks. I was very humbled and inspired by all the wonderful comments everyone left on my "Overwhelmed" post a few weeks ago. It's amazing how people you have never met before (in person) can connect with you in such a special way and make the day seem that much brighter. So, thank you to everyone who has kept me in their thoughts. It really does mean so much to me!
I am happy, yet hesitant, to report that I am feeling much better! Within the past two weeks I have had two surgeries, the second of which was successful in removing the largest of my kidney stones. They also took the stent out which was causing the bulk of my discomfort and pain. The doctor said I could slowly start training again this week so that is very positive. I still have some small stones in my left kidney and a medium sized stone in my right kidney, but fingers crossed, those should be able to pass on their own.
This break from training has left me very uneasy about the early races I had planned. I am 99% sure I won't be doing Glass City Marathon. Although I did the bulk of my training and completed a 17, 18, and 19 mile run, my plan called for three 20 mile runs and I was unable to complete those. I know I could finish the race, but I definitely wouldn't be getting the PR I was hoping for. Plus after no training for over two weeks I don't know how bad the marathon will hurt if I just do it to do it. I am definitely not seeking out additional injuries at this point. Thankfully I didn't register for it yet, so I am not out any race fees, but I really did want to do it. If I do, it will be a very last minute decision.
Knoxville is also still up in the air. I am confident in my swimming and the running doesn't scare me, but I know my bike fitness is definitely not where it should be. Again, I missed too many key workouts that have left me feeling unprepared at best. I am still going for sure, but may drop down to the Olympic distance, or depending on how these next two weeks go I may just volunteer and not race at all.
I think the other thing that has me uneasy about this race is that it will be the first time Matt won't be there with me. I always look forward to seeing Matt out on the course and him coming back to cheer me to the finish or run the finish in with me. He is my comfort...he makes everything ok. Even if I were to come in last place I know he would be there waiting for me and I wouldn't have to finish alone. So, I am left with this fear that without Matt I will be left all by myself on race day. I know that's not reality, but it is enough to get in my head and mess with my confidence.
But I know that the most important thing to do is to have fun. This is a hobby, my hobby, and even if I am not the most prepared or not in shape to get a PR, the least I can do is just do it because I love it!
Thanks again for all your thoughts and well wishes!!!