So, for those of you who know me really well, you probably already know that I am overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed with things I tend to withdraw myself and crawl into my deep dark hole and become anti-social. Hence the no blogging and lack of FB posts of late.
What am I overwhelmed with? Life in general I guess. Work stress, home stress, training stress, and alot of health stress. I am still hanging on to those 5 kidney stones that I learned of almost three weeks ago now. For the most part the pain is controlled, but I have good days and bad days. I go back to the doctor for more x-rays on Monday and I'm hoping he just tells me to schedule surgery. On top of that our St. Patty's day festivities led to a nasty cold/virus that has kept me on the DL for the last four days. Apparently I am too old to have fun anymore.
So all this has left my training less than ideal. I have two big races coming up that really weren't planned out that well to begin with. I am doing the Glass City Marathon at the end of April and Rev3 Knoxville 70.3 two weeks later. This was my first time putting together a training plan on my own. Usually Matt does our training plans, but since we are not doing the same races this year we can't have the same training plan anymore. So, I took the easy route and basically took a 70.3 plan and an advanced marathon plan and smushed them together, removing only the 70.3 runs and subbing them with the marathon runs. Yeah, I guess this is the complete wrong way to do things. Turns out the advanced marathon plan has runs 6 days a week and doesn't account for any cross training. So, pretty much I was doing two intense workouts a day, every day, with no rest days.
I actually did really good with this plan at first, but as life started piling on, I got behind on workouts and started feeling guilty and overwhelmed. Enter my shutdown/withdraw myself from life mode. When I miss a workout I am really hard on myself and feel super guilty about it until I make it up. So instead of doing the two workouts a day, I was doing one workout one day and three the next until pretty much all hell broke loose and I began missing alot of key workouts.
Matt has seen and felt the wrath of my frustrations, so we stat down yesterday and he put together a new plan for me. My original goal was to try and PR (sub 4 hrs) at the marathon and just do the 70.3 as a fun race to start the tri-season off. I think I have dug myself a hole too deep to do either of these so as of right now I have no current time goals. My only goal is to finish both and to try and not be disappointed with my performance. It's still really early in the season and I have plenty of time to focus on other races.
I don't know why I am putting so much pressure on myself this year. I think being part of the Rev3 team makes me want to be as good as everyone else, to prove myself. I really need to take ten giant steps back and just be me...be happy with myself, who I am, and be happy with my accomplishments....if only it were that easy...sigh. Let's face it, triathlon isn't fun when you spend most of your time comparing yourself to everyone else. There will always be someone better, faster, stronger than me...and the sooner I get everyone else out of my head, the sooner this will become fun again!